i'm homesick and grateful.

Since moving to San Francisco in October, this has been my first week of being home sick. 

I think the Monday after Christmas/New Year break is the hardest Monday of the year. January can be a somewhat depressing month, and the realization that there are no real holidays in sight is kind of a daunting feeling. Monday morning rolled around and my morning went a little bit like this....

Miles left for work. I was packing my lunch for work when I saw someone pull into my driveway. An old Asian man got out of his car and started looking around our yard (our yard is like 5x8 ft by the way.) It was a little weird so I ran upstairs to get some shoes so I could go ask him what he was doing in my yard. When I got outside to talk to him, he was gone, but his car sure wasn't. At this point I was already a couple minutes late for leaving to work, the problem was I couldn't just leave because my car was parked in the garage trapped in behind his car!! Ahhhh. So I walked up and down the street looking for that tricky little man, but he was nowhere to be found. I called the police, they said they couldn't do anything until the afternoon...awesome. I was forced to take the train to work which apparently is too hard for me because I ended up on the wrong stop in a way sketchy neighborhood. It was raining (of course) I'm already 40 minutes late for work. I called Miles and cried. He told me to get an Uber (like a taxi), so I did. A really nice Afghani man picked me up and asked me how my morning was going, I cried. I finally got to work and hour late which left us an hour behind schedule alll dayy. It was the most Monday morning that there ever was. It's actually pretty funny now, but in the moment I was cursing our city living.

So this week I have been homesick for Utah's wide roads, my Mom's home cooked dinners, Taco Amigo, the familiarity of home, and so much more.

I'm done complaining now. 

In the midst of my homesickness, I realized how grateful I am to be here at this time of my life and in the beginning of our marriage. We are in San Francisco, but not permanently. We are far enough away that I can't run home to my Mom on a hard day, but close enough that we can visit somewhat frequently. Miles and I are the minority everywhere we go except for church. We really don't know anyone outside of work or church yet, so often times it feels like we are very alone and all we have is each other. There are days that my heart aches thinking of the family dinners that we miss, or the cute things our nephews do that I don't see. Those moments with family are the greatest blessing and are something that we look forward to when we make our way back, but for now I think there is something great about it being just us. Matt Miles has become my loving husband, my best friend, my therapist, my Gilmore Girls watching partner, the one I have dance parties with in the kitchen, the person I tell everything to, really he is everything. In many ways, we have been forced to rely solely on each other. I'm a firm believer that Heavenly Father had his hand in all of this, that he placed us here at this time together but alone. It's exhilarating to be able to start our marriage off fresh in a new place. It's hard but I know that it is forging our marriage into what it needs to be for the future and all the adventures that we have ahead of us.

So, this week I am homesick and very grateful for it.